Until Nico

Author: P Hana

Page 38


“That’s my girl.” His mouth drops to mine, and before I can kiss him back, he’s opening the door.

“Call me the minute you find them!” I yell as he’s getting in his car. He gives me a chin lift, so I figure that’s basically an affirmative.

I don’t know how long I pace back and forth between the living room and the kitchen, but it must be a couple of hours. I give in and call Lilly, who’s a wreck and can’t even get a word out without breaking down into tears. I can’t imagine what she’s going through, but I tell her that, if she needs anything at all, I’m here.

After I get off the phone with her and another hour passes, the phone rings and I jump to answer it, thinking it’s Nico with good news. I’m disappointed when it’s November and Liz calling to see if I’ve heard anything. They both know as much as I do, which is nothing at all. Halfway into our conversation, November gets a call from Susan, who says they found Jax and are on their way to get Ashlyn. She doesn’t have a lot of information, but I feel better knowing that they are on the right track. I want to help, and I hate that I’m stuck at home and can’t do anything. By the time Nico calls to tell me they have Ashlyn and that Cash is heading to the hospital with both of the kids in an ambulance, I’m a mess.

“Should I meet you there?” I ask, holding my breath.

“No, baby. I’m just going to take care of a couple more things and then I’ll be home. We can go and see the kids tomorrow, but right now, I think Cash and Lilly just want to be alone with the kids,” he says quietly.

I want to cry; I feel horrible not being there with him. “Are you sure? I can meet you at your parents’. That way, if they need us, we’re close.”

“Baby, I swear if I thought for one second that would be best, I would have you come here, but as of right now, everyone’s going home. Asher wants to go sit with his girls, Trevor told me he needs to be with his, and I want you at home.”

“Okay,” I whisper, hearing the stress in his voice.

“Be home soon,” he says, hanging up.

I sit there for a few minutes, going over everything that happened to Lilly—and now the kids—and also what November told me about her story and what Liz explained about hers while we were on the phone. I look at the picture of Nico and me on the screen of my phone and swear to myself right then that I will do everything in my power to be worthy of Nico. It’s not that I don’t still have fears, but knowing how life can change so drastically in the blink of an eye makes me want to live my life completely. I’m in love with an amazing man who looks at me like I’m his reason for breathing when, in reality, he’s mine. I want to be the strong person he sees me as. He deserves that and more.

“He’s so cute,” I tell Nico, looking from Trevor and Liz’s new son to his smiling eyes.

“He is, babe,” he agrees, his face soft as he looks at his nephew.

“Here. You hold him.” I hand Cobi over to Nico, helping to situate him in his arms before smiling up at him.

His eyes drop to my mouth before he leans forward to kiss my forehead. I feel warmth flow through me. I love Nico’s family. That’s why, when Trevor called to say that Liz had gone into labor, I freaked out and ran around the house in a hurry, wanting to get to the hospital as soon as possible.

By the time we arrived, Liz was already seven centimeters. Two hours after we got there, a smiling Trevor came out to tell us that baby Cobi had arrived and he was nine pounds and six ounces. When he made this announcement, my first thought was, Oh my God, I can’t wait to see him! Then my mind wandered to the bag of flour I had to carry around in junior high during sex education that weighed ten pounds. And then I thought about something that size coming out of my vagina and wanted to stop having sex altogether. The idea of that coming out of something so small made me feel uneasy.

The second I had Cobi cuddled to me, all thoughts of teeny, tiny vaginas and giant babies left my head, and I knew that, no matter what, when you’d hold your child, whatever you went through would be completely worth it.

Chapter 10


“You sure you don’t want me to go with you?” I look at the GPS, seeing that I should be in the Nashville area in about two hours.

“I’m sure. I just need to get some clothes and check the mail. I won’t even be there for more than thirty minutes.”

“Just wait for me and I’ll go with you,” I try again.

“You and I both know that, when you get home, you’re not going to want to leave the bed, let alone the house.”

“Shit,” I groan, getting hard just thinking about being inside her. “You say it like it’s a bad thing.”

“It’s not a bad thing. That’s why I want to go to my house. I don’t want to leave the house either once you get home,” she says shyly.

“Be naked in bed,” I demand.


“You heard me. I want you naked, spread eagle on the bed so when I get there, I can get my taste before f**king you.”

“Nico,” she breathes, but I can hear the hunger in her voice.

I’ve been out of town for three days. The whole time I was gone, all I could think about was the news we found out right before I left. Sophie had woken up sick a couple of days in a row. I had my suspicions, but there was no way to know for sure without her taking a test. On the third day, I said f**k it, got up, and went to the pharmacy near the house. I knew she was afraid to take the test after the last few times she had taken one and they’d come back negative.

I sat there with her in the bathroom, refusing to leave even when she peed on the thing. I knew in my gut that this was it; just like I knew she was my forever, I knew our child was growing inside of her. Those three minutes were the longest of my life. All I could think was, How the f**k can a piece of plastic that probably costs one cent to make in China hold such an important message? When the screen flashed and the word ‘pregnant’ appeared on the screen, I looked at Sophie, who was staring at the screen in complete shock. The only thought in my head then was how much I f**king loved her.

“Holy shit,” she whispered, her eyes meeting mine. I could see tears beginning to form. “We’re going to have a baby.”

“We are,” I confirmed as I pulled her against me, burying my face in her neck. “I love you, baby. Thank you for giving us this,” I whispered against her skin.